Really? Zoonotic Diseases from my Bed Buddies?

I just can’t leave this one alone. After all, the subtitle of this blog is “thoughts on a curious world.” And how much more curious can a dog lover get than to discover that a study out of California (where else) has determined that sleeping with your pet(s) could cause you to develop some really nasty diseases. Zoonotic Diseases?

Now these are not the simple dis/eases we animal-sleepers are used to, that come from sleeping in less than ¼ of the bed when the 4 legged family takes over. You know – leg cramps, neck pain, back ache, numb limbs, hair in the mouth, cold butt, sleep apnea caused by serious doggy breath, and the occasional and unfortunate explosive projectile 2 AM hairball jettisoned towards the unsuspecting human, causing him to wake from a sound sleep, flailing at the air. No, these are serious diseases. Zoonotic diseases. Diseases like The Plague (yes, that Plague), Chagas Disease (you’ll have to look it up), Cat Scratch Fever (I've had it), meningitis, septicemia, multi-organ failure, Staphylococcu intermedius infections, rabies, and parasitic infections. These were just the more easily pronounceable diseases one might, on a far-off chance, contract from one’s dog or cat. There were a few even more hideous diseases one might be blighted with, but you can check them all out here. Incidentally, the study only takes into consideration the typical dog and cat. One is not talking Ben the rat or Arnold the pig here.

One really interesting thing about the study, commissioned and paid for by God knows who (or why), is that it detailed such exotic conditions of human deterioration (open festering wounds licked by puppies, death’s-door octogenarians succumbing to the attentions of their cat, tiny babies left in flea infested beds, etc.), that one would be hard pressed to find the usual pet-sleeper in Western countries in such states of decrepitude. (Although, granted, a few examples of such were given.) Many of these diseases were also contracted either in 'developing countries' or Southeast Asia where rabies continues to be a problem, or in the tropics, where nasty, oozing, festering maladies are simply a given. It’s not like puppies and kittens were plotting against humans, waiting to pounce in the dead of night to infect unsuspecting owners with pustules, bullae and blebs.

I certainly don’t French kiss my dogs – they do that to one another and I get my cheap thrills by watching them. Nor do I drink from their water bowl or share their toys. (One incident of a child contracting a disease was cited -- the dog had been playing with the child’s pacifier before the child recovered it and stuck it in his own mouth. To this one has to say, screw the disease, where were the parents?) But I do enjoy a good cuddle with my dogs (probably more so than they do), and they do sleep in my bed. (Or perhaps, more correctly, I sleep in theirs.)

What I find even more interesting is the press that this study has received. I first saw it repeatedly on TV (which, of course, immediately lends indisputable credibility to the work). It blanketed the air for days. On the web, I had to surf through over two dozen sites before I came upon the actual study itself. All of the news articles, without exception, used the same vocabulary and examples to describe the horrors of sleeping with one’s beloved pet. But when I glommed on this statement all became clear: “Pet health maintenance which incorporates regular deworming, and flea and tick control medications is beneficial …” Bingo. There’s the connection. Like Deep Throat said in the 1976 movie, All the President’s Men, “Follow the money.” I’ll wager you dollars to dog cookies the study was funded by Bayer or Farnam or Pfizer or Merial or some other Big Pharma outfit. And what time of year is it? Bingo again – it's flea and tick time. Time to douse your favorite four footed friend with pesticides.

Of course, the research citations don’t list where the funds came from to do the study. No – that might be ethical. But it’s not a stretch, in this day and age, to assume that almost certainly a vested interest was behind the research.

I’ll continue to sleep with my dogs. They probably catch more things from me than I will ever catch from them. They are a comfort and a joy, are infinitely cleaner than most people’s children (for whom I have no love-loss at all), and generally don’t leave anything more annoying in bed than a mud-soaked stuffingless toy or stray tufts of hair.

Yes, timing in advertising is everything. So, enjoy sleeping with your animals, watch out for hair balls and cling-ons, and beware of advertising ploys disguised as research. And if you do catch something nasty, it’s probably from a local Big Box store’s toilet seat, not your pooch.